10 Tree of Life
That a Terrence Malick film comes with mumbling voice-overs and a hard-to-follow plot we all knew. That it could come with added dinosaurs was something we didn’t see coming. And Sean Penn had every right to be pissed off…
You also don’t expect much from any Paul W. Anderson film. But that it would be so outrageous and stupid even I could not predict. Orlando Bloom’s hair is the only reason that it is slightly better than:
You don’t expect much going into Conan the Barbarian. But that it would be so vile and stupid even I could not predict.
Everyone who was paid to see it liked it. Everyone who had paid to see it hated it. Overhyped and overmarketed stinker with terrible 3D effects.
Shockingly non-funny for a film with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Plus it insults Ellen Ripley rather than that it pays hommage to her. Must have to do with the direction of non-talent Greg Mottola.
A terrible let down of the fans of the original three films. Lazy writing, directing and acting infuriated me. It says quite a few things about the terrible blockbuster year that was 2011 that this pile of crap is only the fifth worst film of the year.
Ouch. Proof that Zack Snyder should stick with putting a glamorous veneer over the smarter writings of more talented people. Directing the Nolan-penned Man of Steel will be the Litmus test for the rest of his career. Awesome soundtrack though, thanks to Emily Browning’s “Sweet Dreams…” cover.
Morally bankrupt. Together with The Hangover 2 and every single Kevin James film of this year the ultimate proof that American comedy is stone dead. Everyone involved should be banned for ever from any movie set.
Morally bankrupt. The worst thing about the Transformers movies is that they now spawn a whole new generation of toy based stupid battle movies, like the upcoming Battleship and the GI Joe films.
If films were food than everything else in this list would come from McDonalds, but I described Green Lantern as “a cold hash of unidentifiable meat still dripping with the fat of an unclean frying pan.” Subsequently I suggested that it should be dumped in the deepest depths of the Mariana Trench. We shall never ever mention it again.